Being in love vs. being lazy

When trying to win brownie points, guys often say that they prefer a girl who wears no makeup, is comfortable in herself, doesn’t feel the need to dress up, and is all natural.

The first time my boyfriend and I properly spoke to each other, I was off work sick, sitting on the sofa surrounded by snotty tissues in my pyjamas writing a Google Adwords campaign. I had no makeup on, my hair probably needed a good wash and I was looking decidedly unglamorous. Somehow, he still wanted to spend his lunch break talking to me.

I seem to have found the only man in existence who actually does prefer their girlfriend fresh from the shower, clean face, wet hair, in sweatpants and one of his t-shirts. Wearing no makeup makes me feel like I’ve made no effort, (and I hate my complexion when it’s au natural) so I struggle to accept it when he tells me thats when I look my best.

I caught sight of myself in the living room mirror the other day, in an XXL grey t-shirt, gym shorts, no makeup, glasses on and hair in a bun, and I realised that I’d become so lazy with my appearance as a result of being so in love. Knowing that my boyfriend will still find me attractive, and still want to spend his life with me, when I’m a bit grubby, or haven’t made an effort with my hair or clothes, has made me take advantage of being able to slowly become a bit of a slob.

But it’s hard to make changes when he tells me he likes me best in my lazing around clothes, because it’s so intimate. And he’s got a point – noone else in the world sees me in those clothes. He gets to see a (okay, a very dishevelled) version of me that noone else does or ever will.

But I’m worried that this complacency with my appearance will creep into other aspects of my life, like going to the gym, or showing him how much I love him. If I’ve already got myself the most handsome man in the world, and he adores me the way I am, maaaaaybe I can get away with getting a bit fatter, because it’s not all about looks. If he knows I love him, maaaaaybe I can spend less time showing or telling him.

And that’s not at all what I want. So we’ve reached a compromise, where I wear makeup monday-friday for work, and then go barefaced at the weekend when it’s just me and him. And I’m slowly coming to terms with what my naked face really looks like under all the help, and I sort of maybe like it?